Lake Atitlan with Jane and Ralf

A Ripping Yarn of Pagan Idolatry, a Scorpion Attack, Fun with Ralf and Jane, and a Disgusting Travel Tale

Maximon - (mah-shi-moan)...we never heard of him until this trip. Wow. This is one freaky fellow. We first encountered him about a month ago. We saw a display in the local craft shop that was made up of 30 or so seated male wooden figures, dressed in black, with black hats and pursed lips, some with cigarettes. When we first saw it, Katie said, "It must be someone in particular, maybe someone important." He is indeed someone particular AND important. Long story short....  is a combination of Saint Simon and a Maya god. One day when the men were working in the fields, he slept with all of their wives. They returned and cut off his arms. SOMEHOW, after that, he became an object of worship. (We agree; an important part of the story is missing.) Anyway, he is worshipped only in the western Guatemalan Highlands, and has shrines in only four local towns. Apparently, he is a bit of a bully. Worshipers give him donations of cigarettes, liquor, or money, and he grants favors, often hurting an enemy in the process.  

One of the effigies happens to be at Lake Atitlan in the village of Santiago, near our village of San Pedro . We are visiting the lake for two days with Jane and Ralf. Roger has a few favors he'd like granted. The perfect storm. 

So Roger is on a pilgrammage.  “I guess it’s sort of like idolatry,” Roger admits.  “No,” Linda corrects him. “It IS idolatry.” 

Mah-shi, Mah-shi Moan...  I Wanna be a Mah-shi Moan 

From San Pedro, we took a local boat to Santiago. On our arrival in town, we were bombarded by guides wanting to give us a tut-tuk ride to see Maximon for 100 quetzales each. Roger knew better. After some sharp haggling, he and Ralf secured the services of a fourth-grader named Juan to take our group of four to see the big man for 15 quetzales total. Do we know how to take advantage of a kid or what?!?  

A long winding walk through a labyrinth of tiny lanes brought us to a narrow alley in a poor residential area of town. We thought,     " Is this kid scamming us? Is there a group of thugs waiting to accost us once we head down the alley?" Linda, experienced with fourth grade boys, determined that Juan was on the level and we proceeded.  We met  Maximon, in the flesh (or wood), in a small incense-filled room, where a ceremony was under way. A number of people shared their wishes with the shaman. There was chanting, lighting of candles, and kissing of a scarf-draped black cowboy hat. Attendants ensure that Maximon always had either a lit cigarette between his wooden lips, or was sipping Quetzalteco, apparently his booze of choice. The danger of fire concerns us, with copious amounts of alcohol splashed around the open flame, but we dodged that bullet.   

Roger has someone translate his request to the shaman, and he had his moment in the sun, so to speak, as he took his place at the altar. He hasn't shared his request with the rest of the group, so we don't know what favor he asked of Maximon. Since that day, however, Linda has felt an overpowering urge to shop online at Victoria's Secret. Related? Perhaps. 

The rest of our time with Jane and Ralf has been equally exciting. To share just a few of the events...Ralf had his pocket slit by a pickpocket (with no loss to either his money or his junk); he saved Linda by killing a three-inch scorpion; we met a crazy cat lady who decided to remain in Guatemala because she found a cat (a cosmic sign, she said); we resisted the urge to buy "sky cookies" in the hippie enclave at San Pedro. 

How to Acquire Good Travel Stories--On the trip back to Antigua, we shared a mini-bus (and numerous travel lies ) with two Canadian flight attendants who have been traveling together for years. 

“So tell me,” Roger says.  “What is the most obnoxious passenger you ever had to deal with?” 

Dusanka  pauses, but only for a moment.  “Is disgusting OK?” 

“Absolutely!” Roger says. 

“I once had to stop a lady breastfeeding a cat,” she says. 

Yeah. Glad we didn't ever meet THAT crazy cat lady.

See our album link at:
https://picasaweb.google.com/106750917165477506851/2012Guatemala4?authkey=Gv1sRgCNCriOKP-aPisAE#